Thursday, October 21, 2010

3rd draft

 Alchohol & tobacco

Some good important laws in some countries don't allow alcohol and tobacco commercials . First , alcohol and tobacco are unhealthy for your body . Also , these laws  try to reduce the number of addicts . Finally , these commercials encourage people , especially teenagers to use alcohol and tobacco . To conclude , these laws are so important and  beneficial for society because alcohol and tobacco are harmful and dangerous .


3 comments:

  1. Thanks, Mariam for posting your 3rd draft.

    The following is a list with mistakes noticed in your paragrpah and their corrected versions:

    - lows = laws.
    - alchohol = alcohol.
    - commercails = commercials.
    - unhealthy for you = unhealthy for the body.
    - try to stop addicts from addition = try to reduce the number of addicts, based on the saying:"if you don't see it, you will not remember it."
    - Finaly = Finally.
    - especally = especially.
    - In conclud = To conclude.
    - remarkable for society = beneficial for the society.

    Hope this is helpful, Batool :)

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  2. thank you miss , i will correct my mistakes soon

    ReplyDelete